I guess this would be my very first blog ever , i have never really like writing blogs about myself especially about myself i think its ridiculous to let people know about your feeling and thoughts , but this days i don't have many people to talk to about things so i decided to let the whole world know what i am feeling right now , yeah it sounds like i am a whiny little brat but i don't care !
it seems funny that my first ever blog i would be dedicating it to my dad because truth to be told i hate him , i hate every moment of the fact that he is out there breathing , walking and talking the very existence of him makes me want to puke !
u see my dad wasn't the best of people he cheats and he does all of other rotten things that i might not know about , it hurts because knowing that i am related to him by blood and it sucks to have a father that who always is not there to be around , and doesn't even take the effort to see me all this years , he had about 19 years to come up to me and apologize but he couldn't , what kind of role model is that !
but in the end i realize something he may be somebody who has done a lot of bad things , but so do all of us , we are humans and we make mistakes and some people make more than others and i think to myself that even with all the crap he has done , my life is so much better compare to other people because i can get out anytime i want , i don't have to see him but some people out there who has an abusive father , alcoholic father or some people who their father has been taken away by death doesnt have that much choice do they ? and so i am the few lucky ones , in short im blessed because if it wasn't for him i wouldn't be born in this world and experience all the good , the bad and the shitty times and i wouldn't have met my mother who i would take a bullet for her and all the nice people i have met throughout my entire life, and that is why i dedicate this first blog to my dad whom i hate and love at the same time
oh and another thing maybe im angry with him is because i dont mind he is not there all the time , its just i have never heard him said to me , good job or well done son , all i really want to hear from him is "I love you son and i wish all the best for you" , i wish i could get to hear those words some day before its too late :(
